Mulry Method: Self-Care In 10 Steps

The Mulry Method: Self-Care in 10 Steps is a structured way to turn reflection into action—starting with what matters most to you. This guide outlines how to apply the Mulry Method for personal self-care—combining self-assessment tools, relaxation techniques, theoretical models, and performance-based strategies to support meaningful change.

Prefer to watch? Explore the full video series here.

What You’ll Learn:

Step 1: Overview Of The 10 Steps

We each learn in our own way. Let’s look at how you might proceed as a Self-Learner.

The Mulry Method website is your starting point.

From here, you can explore all our free content, including:

Step 2: Take the PCI

What To Expect From The PCI

Taking the PCI offers a unique opportunity for confidential self-assessment—a starting point that encourages personal engagement in the Self-Learning process.

The PCI is completely confidential—only you will see the results unless you choose to share them. That decision is always entirely up to you.

Your “This is Me!” report is available immediately and stored in your account. It is dated and available if you want to review your past concerns and how you are progressing over time. Knowing how to make sense of your “This is Me!” report takes some reflection. You will see that you have Primary Concerns, Secondary Concerns, and Highly Focused Concerns. You want to review all of them because the PCI prioritizes your concerns, setting the stage for Focused Action. If you have no concerns, you will see “Congratulations, your life is in order.”

At first, you might say, “Yes, these are my personal concerns—so what do I do with this information?” That’s exactly what the rest of this 10-step guide will show you—how to turn your concerns into clear, purposeful action.

🚀 Start by taking the Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) to identify what matters most to you, then continue through each step to build your personal self-care plan.

Step 3: Do Relaxation Therapy (RT)

Relaxation Therapy (RT) is one of the most effective and accessible self-care tools in the Mulry Method. Proven across decades of use, it consistently helps reduce tension, promote calm, and support emotional balance.

There are six audio-guided versions of Relaxation Therapy available. Each follows the same breathing and muscle relaxation sequence, but the third stage features different sounds of nature, offering a range of calming experiences to suit your personal preferences.

🎧 Try Relaxation Therapy now to calm your body and reset your focus—then continue through the guide to see how it all fits together.

Step 4: Social Learning Theory (SLT)

Understanding The SLT Model

SLT consists of three core constructs: Behavior Potential, Expectancy, and Reward Value. A fourth construct, Psychological Situation, introduces considerable theoretical flexibility when applying the model during interaction to resolve personal concerns.

Because SLT is a scientific theory with clearly defined constructs, we must share a common understanding of how the Theory works in practice. Let’s start with the basic (not so poetic) SLT equation: BP = f (E+RV) within specific Psychological Situations (PS).

Put simply, a behavior is more likely to happen when you believe it will lead to something you value—and when the situation feels right for success.

Example: Stress And Tension

Let’s say someone’s Primary Concern is stress and tension. The reward they seek is inner calm and relief from stress and tension, along with excessive tension-based maladies like back pain and headaches. The higher the RV and the more valued the goal, the more likely we will see behaviors leading to achieving that goal.

Example: Someone seeking inner calm (RV) can achieve this physiological response through Relaxation Therapy, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system. To build a routine, they might choose to practice RT daily, every other day, or at another consistent interval that works for them. With high reward value—meaning this goal is deeply important—they are more likely to commit to doing RT at least once a day, ideally at a consistent time and for a set duration. For instance, they might use RT during lunch breaks to release built-up tension or before bedtime to ease into restful sleep.

At this point, the person has identified a meaningful outcome—like inner calm—and begun to connect it with specific behaviors likely to help achieve it.

Measuring Expectancy And Motivation

With the outcome and possible actions beginning to take shape, the next piece is Expectancy (E)—your belief in the likelihood that the behavior will lead to the reward. In this case, how confident are you that practicing Relaxation Therapy will result in inner calm?

A higher expectancy strengthens motivation. One of the best ways to increase expectancy is simply to try it: “Let’s see what happens.” If a session of RT brings a sense of calm, even briefly, it reinforces the belief that this tool has value—especially in moments of elevated stress. That real-time feedback matters more than theoretical belief.

This also reintroduces the importance of the Psychological Situation (PS)—how the person perceives the setting in which the behavior occurs. Whether it’s a lunch break in a quiet office or bedtime in a calm bedroom, identifying a context that feels safe, appropriate, and supportive increases the likelihood of success.

From here, the individual can begin shaping a Focused Action Plan—based on what they believe will work. This often happens in a single session of self-reflection, rather than through weeks of exploratory conversation in a traditional therapy setting.

How often do you see such clarity in goal-setting—where personal meaning, motivation, and specific actions are all defined within a clear psychological situation?

From Plan To Observation

Once a Focused Action Plan is in place—whether it’s aimed at Relaxation Therapy, Backcare, or another area of personal growth—the next step is observation. Is the plan being followed—even if not perfectly? Or is it being avoided altogether, despite good intentions?

Progress is visible through effort. Avoidance, on the other hand, raises important questions:

  • Is the plan realistic and workable as it stands?
  • Is this truly something the person wants, or is there an internal conflict holding them back?
  • What obstacles—emotional, situational, or psychological—might be getting in the way?

This stage of observation provides critical feedback for refining the plan or surfacing deeper issues that may need to be addressed.

Internal Drive And Self-Directed Change

The Mulry Method doesn’t rely on external motivation. It’s about surfacing what truly matters, creating a structure for change, and noticing what happens next. The process reveals whether the work is done with intention or to look cooperative.

Role Of The PCI In SLT Application

The Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) supports this reflection. It offers a private space to assess concerns and track progress. Sharing results isn’t required, but a reluctance to reflect or discuss growth is meaningful. Sometimes, the lack of engagement signals that it may be time to step back and reconsider the path forward.

Creating A Feedback Loop

The role here is simple and steady:

Create awareness. Build a plan. Observe what happens.

In rare cases involving risk of harm to self or others, a different action is required—but that’s a separate matter, and those boundaries are already understood.

Final Thoughts On SLT

This brief overview only scratches the surface of what Social Learning Theory has to offer. It introduces a model that supports targeted behavioral change through structure, clarity, and personal meaning.

To explore how SLT offers a precise and practical Focused Action Plan, take a look at In The Zone Skills Training and the Blog. These resources bring the model to life, showing how theory becomes practice.

Remember—we become what we do, and it’s through consistent, intentional action that Self-Learning happens. As the flexibility of SLT becomes clear, you’ll find it easier to approach complex challenges with confidence, insight, and a process that delivers measurable results.

📘 Curious how we learn by watching others—and how that leads to real change? Explore the Understanding Social Learning Theory post to see how this foundational model supports growth over time. Then continue through the guide to explore other tools for self-care.

Step 5: Polyvagal Theory

When Emotions Override Logic

At this stage of the Mulry Method: Self-Care in 10 Steps, you’re beginning to integrate theory and action—combining insight with repeatable practices. Social Learning Theory (SLT) offers a model based on rational thinking capabilities—but there is more.

Humans are emotional, visceral beings. Emotions play a massive role in shaping actions. In many cases, they are the primary drivers of behavior, often compromising—or even replacing—rational thought. While viewing decisions as logical is common, a closer look reveals emotional undercurrents. For example, the decision to buy a new car might feel rational at the time—but factors like the smell of leather, sleek design, or imagined experiences often carry more weight than practicality. This moment of realization has even earned a nickname: Post Purchase Disorder (PPD).

Scientific Grounding For Emotion

Dr. Julian Rotter, whose early work shaped Social Learning Theory, once remarked to Dr. Mulry, “I’m a rational man, living in an irrational world.” The observation rang true then—and remains deeply relevant to the Mulry Method today.

SLT is a rational model—but where do emotions fit in? That question remained unresolved until decades later when Dr. Stephen Porges introduced Polyvagal Theory. This groundbreaking work provided a science-based model for understanding emotions as physiological activities, not abstract concepts.

Relaxation And The Nervous System

Dr. Mulry recognized early on the calming effects of Relaxation Therapy on the Autonomic Nervous System—but lacked a unifying scientific framework.

Connecting Mind And Body

Polyvagal Theory filled that gap, connecting mind and body in a concrete, evidence-based way. With this, SLT and Polyvagal Theory aligned seamlessly, laying the groundwork for what became the Mulry Method.

In The Zone: Early Integration

Long before the Mulry Method was formally established, In The Zone Skills Training had already been in use for decades. It provided a performance-based, mind/body integration system rooted in full-body attitude training—well aligned with both SLT and Polyvagal Theory.

This early integration helped lay the groundwork for the practical self-care system used today.

Polyvagal Theory complements this approach by offering a clear, science-based explanation of emotions—their chemistry, and the neural pathways through which they operate throughout the body.

Explaining Emotions Clearly

When asked to define emotions, many people offer only vague answers—revealing just how little is understood about what emotions are and how they function.

To help clarify this, Dr. Mulry condensed the key insights of Polyvagal Theory into five short videos within In The Zone Skills Training. These lessons break down the physiology of emotions and make the science more accessible. Much of the same material is also available in the Positive Performance Psychology E-Book.

Rather than presenting the entire theory here, each Polyvagal video offers a focused opportunity for deeper exploration as your training progresses.

Two Theories, One Model

Together, Social Learning Theory and Polyvagal Theory form a unified model for mind/body integration—combining rational understanding with emotional regulation to support practical self-care and lasting behavioral change.

Real-World Refinement

In The Zone Skills Training has been continuously refined through thousands of hours of hands-on instruction across North America, shaped by real-world feedback from diverse industries and employee populations.

This training brings SLT and Polyvagal Theory together through a performance-based process, grounded in the four core competencies shared by successful individuals and athletes alike. It’s built on the principle of learning through doing—practical, repeatable, and effective.

This is where the journey deepens: the integration of emotion and reason, theory and action.

📘 To explore this in practice, Visit the Understanding Polyvagal Theory post for a clear breakdown of how the nervous system affects emotion and behavior. Then continue through the guide to explore other tools for self-care.

Step 6: In The Zone Skills Training

From Knowledge To Performance Habits

You now have a science-based understanding of mind/body integration, including key concepts like Expectancy, which reveal how the brain links beliefs, goals, and action.

The next step is making this knowledge personal—translating it into repeatable performance habits. As with any skill, this requires consistent practice.

In The Zone Skills Training is structured much like martial arts instruction. You begin with foundational movements and build toward automatic habits that are both physical and mental. This progression allows performance to become more fluid, natural, and effective over time.

You’ll learn how Power Breathing in the Position of Strength can be applied across a wide range of everyday activities—lifting, chopping wood, shoveling, playing golf, and more. These movements benefit from controlled, intentional effort that builds both strength and awareness.

“From one thing, learn ten thousand things.”

—Legendary swordsman

In these lessons, you will learn the four core competencies of In The Zone Performers:

  • Relaxed Moves
  • Power Moves
  • Elastic Moves
  • Focused Moves

You’ll learn how to incorporate these into your Total Readiness Routine, as well as into related lessons found in the Healthy Back Courses and Exercise and Stretching Routines.

👉 Watch the full In The Zone Skills Training series to see how each of these core skills supports performance and self-care.

Practical Training Structure

Over thousands of hours of on-site training, we paid close attention to what participants found helpful—and what they didn’t. This feedback shaped strategic changes in how and what we teach.

We learned not just what to include, but also what to leave out. Many training programs reflect the instructor’s personal interests. The Mulry Method, by contrast, is built around what Self-Learners actually want to learn and how they learn it best.

The result is a streamlined set of self-care tools designed for real-life application—focused on performance, recovery, and daily function. Nothing extra, nothing wasted—just what helps you move, feel, and perform better.

Choosing What To Learn

What was once hands-on training is now freely available here on the site. You can explore tools like:

You don’t need to go through all the materials—most people naturally choose what’s most useful as they explore the website or YouTube channel. This flexible approach not only supports rapid improvements in self-care, but also encourages early recovery and a smooth return to daily activity after injury—factors known to improve long-term outcomes.

Dr. Mulry intended for this material to be both practical and personal—knowledge that could be applied as needed to better understand why these programs work. When you’re ready, the PCI, RT, and related lessons are available to support meaningful progress—especially as you begin to notice clear improvements in both physical and mental well-being.

Take your time. Reflect often. Meaningful learning is a gradual process.

Dr. Mulry hoped this material would benefit you—and that you might one day share it with others seeking self-command in a challenging world.

📘 Want to go deeper into mind-body performance? Visit the In The Zone Skills Training video series for guided lessons on focus, self-care, and physical and mental mastery. Then return to the guide to apply what you’ve learned and move forward.

Step 7: Healthy Back Courses

The Mulry Method’s Healthy Back Courses teach practical self-care through movement, alignment, and posture—at home, work, or on the go.

Freedom From Back Pain

Freedom From Back Pain is the overarching program for Mulry Method backcare. It includes:

Within The Centered Human Being, two foundational routines are:

  • Power Breathing – A stand-alone practice for core stability and full-body awareness.
  • Total Readiness Routine – An 8-minute sequence reinforcing Position of Strength, Correct Stretching, and Rhythmic Movement.

Watch Your Back Program

Watch Your Back is a stand-alone multimedia course developed in collaboration with corporate partners. Originally designed to be portable and comprehensive, it helps employees worldwide prevent and manage back injuries.

Now available online as part of the Mulry Method’s Backcare Programs, it includes:

  • Core concepts from the Mulry Method
  • Practical lessons on posture, lifting, and movement
  • Printable Home Study Participant Guide to follow along with the video content

The course emphasizes body awareness and movement strategies that reduce strain and support long-term back health.

Specialized Applications

The Position of Strength – Transfers training is especially valuable in healthcare settings. Developed with the Michigan Hospital Association, it teaches safe patient handling techniques using Position of Strength principles.

This program was backed by the largest ergonomic study of Nursing Aides at the time, including data collection from over 300 nursing homes and throughout all three shifts—day, evening, and night—conducted by PhD-level Exercise Physiologists and Biomechanical Engineers. This comprehensive data set helped validate the effectiveness of the Position of Strength and informed practical training that addressed real-world risks across the full range of caregiving scenarios.

📘 Want to go deeper into posture, movement, and injury prevention? Visit the Backcare Programs page to explore practical training for back health. Then continue through the guide to build on what you’ve learned.

Step 8: Exercise And Stretching Routines

These routines offer a practical path to restoring healthy, functional movement—especially after injury or extended inactivity.

They’re part of The Centered Human Being section of the Freedom From Back Pain program, where the focus is on restoring postural integrity.

The key routines include:

  • Basic Stretching Routine
  • Advanced Stretching Routine
  • Total Readiness Routine

They support flexibility, stability, and recovery—and are directly aligned with Elastic Moves, one of the four core competencies taught in In The Zone Skills Training.

Learning The Routines Safely

All stretches are designed to prevent injury during the learning process. Movements are introduced slowly, emphasizing correct breathing and smooth transitions. Instruction follows movement principles taught by International Martial Arts Champion Sam Mason.

Avoiding Painful Mistakes

Many fitness programs promote “no pain, no gain.” That mindset can be harmful. These routines are based on the principle that movement should always stay below the pain threshold.

If something causes pain—stop. A careful, patient attitude helps counter the urge to rush ahead in hopes of quicker results.

Dr. Mulry’s Personal Experience:

“This is one of the big mistakes I made at age 26, just prior to my own back surgery. I kept pushing and pushing until I could hardly walk at all, always thinking I was doing something good for myself. Nothing could have been more wrong, which is one of the reasons I strongly encourage you to be patient with yourself and move without pain.

Working primarily with back patients and implementing the Back School program early in my career, I again learned the value of careful, slow-as-you-go, return to normal functioning, performed with careful and correct movement principles.”

The lesson is simple:

  • All correct movement is exercise
  • All incorrect movement causes injury

Many people unknowingly push through pain, thinking it’s the right approach. That mindset might work for conditioned athletes—but not for those recovering from a back injury, where patience and precision are essential.

📘 Want to go deeper? Visit the Basic Stretching Routine video page for gentle movements that reduce stiffness, improve flexibility, and support daily mobility. Then continue through the guide with Step 9—where expressing ideas becomes a powerful tool for deepening your own understanding.

Step 9: Learn To Teach ~ Teach To Learn

Teaching is one of the most powerful tools for deepening your own learning and creating meaningful change.

Dr Ray Mulry college portrait

During his years at the University of Texas and Indiana University, Dr. Ray Mulry approached teaching as a blend of creative openness and disciplined study—focused not just on information, but on transformation.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

—Max Planck

This step captures a central truth: teaching sharpens learning.

If you struggle to explain a concept, it often means your understanding isn’t yet complete. Teaching helps clarify ideas, simplify expression, and highlight what needs refinement. You don’t need to master a topic before sharing. In fact, it’s through sharing—in conversations with friends, colleagues, or family—that real learning takes shape.

This is how learning becomes active and self-directed.

As noted in General Semantics, clearly verbalizing a problem often makes the solution more apparent. The act of expressing your thoughts sharpens them—and reveals what still needs attention.

When we’re open to new ideas and integrate what works, we begin to think, respond, and act in new ways. The process is ongoing—and best when it’s thoughtful, engaging, and even fun.

In the Mulry Method, we move forward by learning, applying, refining—and sharing.

📘 For more on this approach, visit the Learn to Teach ~ Teach to Learn post for more insights on how expression sharpens learning. Then continue through the guide with Step 10—where reflection, openness, and growth come together.

Step 10: The Free And Open Examination Of Ideas

This final step invites you to stay curious, think clearly, and make space for real change on your own terms.

Explore Freely And Grow Intentionally

Creative thought, openness to change, and personal growth are essential to reaching one’s full potential. Change happens whether we notice it or not. But with intention and curiosity, we can guide it—so we can grow with purpose and clarity.

This mindset reflects the core of In The Zone: Making Winning Moments Your Way of Life—a performance-centered philosophy that helped shape the Mulry Method. Its subtitle points to something lasting: that peak performance isn’t just about isolated success, but about building habits that make excellence part of everyday life.

An Integrated Approach To Growth

The Mulry Method brings together three foundational elements to support self-care:

  • Polyvagal Theory – our emotional side
  • Social Learning Theory – our rational side
  • In The Zone Skills Training – our high-performance side

Together, they offer practical insight for building a more balanced and intentional life.

At Your Best, In The Zone

Being “in the zone” is about feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally connected. When your inner voice aligns with outward action, you do what you want to do—and you do it well.

Awareness of your personal concerns, compelling interests, and deepest desires is essential to living in the zone. You are what you do. Do what you do best—and do it well.

Forging New Ways Of Doing Things

Learning core performance skills supports neuroplasticity and helps develop a mindset for lasting success—one that is Relaxed, Balanced, Flexible, and Focused.

Small, intentional shifts can help you move toward these qualities:

  • Stay relaxed under pressure
  • Respond with flexibility and clarity
  • Turn awareness into action that benefits others

Your Tools For Self-Care

Use what you’ve learned to take action on what matters most, apply insights in daily life, and keep exploring what helps you grow.

“This work was always about building a model of innovative self-care—something others could study, adapt, and use to create more meaningful outcomes in their own lives.”

—Dr. Ray Mulry

Self-care starts with awareness. But growth requires action. The Mulry Method gives you the tools—what you do with them is entirely up to you.

📘 Ready to begin your journey of intentional growth? Revisit any step or explore the In The Zone e-book for a deeper look at performance and mindset. Then carry what you’ve learned forward in your own way.

Wherever you begin, the Mulry Method: Self-Care in 10 Steps is designed to support ongoing growth through tools you can return to again and again. Taking the PCI is a crucial first step. It’s not just about thinking—it’s about doing. Clarity comes through action, and lasting change is most likely to happen through consistent practice. The PCI helps you focus that action where it matters most.

✅ Next Steps