Internal Locus Of Control And Life-changing Processes
There is a typical and persisting inclination for humanoids to seek everlasting life in one form or another. The most apparent everyday example is the obsession to preserve a youthful appearance and attractive sexuality. The cosmetic industry thrives on this, as do many other commercial enterprises. Let’s explore.
The Influence Of Youthful Ideals
The life process exhibits a well-defined progression, concluding after a century for some, less for most. Idealization of the younger years and the excitement of romance and sexuality are primary drivers of human motivation. Because allure is strong and well-fortified by endless advertising and manipulating the public to pursue everlasting youth, there is little evidence this will subside. So, what’s the alternative?
Changing Perceptions Of Reality
One of the truly important understandings of philosophers and scientists is that our perception of reality is fundamentally how we look at things. Max Planck, Nobel Prize in Physics, said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Similarly, William James, father of much of today’s psychology and psychiatry, said, “The greatest thing my generation has learned is humans can change their attitude.” With these two intellects leading the way, let’s see how their thoughts might apply to our lives.
Challenging The Perception Of Aging
Let’s start with an assumption: People generally seem to prefer illusion over reality. We believe the early years and what goes with them are the best of years. If so, we indeed have a bonified illusion. Who’s to say the excitement of youth is superior to peaceful aging, where personal comfort, both intellectually and emotionally, arises from life experiences, paving the way for a smoother ride?
The Commercialization Of Aging
We once referred to the wisdom of the elders, but this view is taking a back seat to discussions of Alzheimer’s, brain fog, dementia and the list goes on. This has become a lucrative market for those willing to exploit the fears and insecurities of those over 50, 60, and 70.
The Rise Of Brain Supplements
Of course, there is another lucrative market, where brain functioning supplements come into play, attracting those wanting the good old days, hoping for benefits resulting from better living through chemistry and various brain supplements. Do they work? Scientific evidence is insufficient, at least for now. It depends mostly on what you want to believe, how you look at it, and whether you accept their promises for a better life as legitimate or not. When you believe in something, such as observed in the placebo effect, it seems to work to some extent. The whole story is yet to be told, and there is every reason to believe modern neuroscience will derive legitimate and useful alternatives to aging.
A Workable Option For Fulfillment
We can be respectful of the aging process and prepare for each evolving step in the unfolding of our lives. We can prepare for a graceful transition, overcoming fears of decline and rejection, and questioning a view of aging that promotes limited abilities, reduced capacity for good works and self-care. We don’t have to categorize the aging process, predefining individuals and their capabilities as less than.
Lessons From Japanese Cultural Values
Consider this as food for thought. Before World War II, there was a culture-based definition regarding personal growth and the aging process in Japan. In that culture, children were given a good deal of freedom to be themselves up to the age of six or so. After 60, this same respect for freedom was encouraged. The years between were highly prescribed working years, where responsibility for tradition and productivity dominated. This middle-aged group valued self-discipline and service to family and others while maintaining the strong traditions of their culture, which they learned early in life, strictly kept, and honored.
Who I am NOW was defined by larger cultural values and behavioral prescriptions. Success as a participating member of the culture depends on your compliance with the expected norm, clarifying what you can be and must do to achieve legitimacy as defined by your age group.
The Cultural Role Of Service
In this regard, the middle group did not experience service to others as a burden so much as a step above self-interest. It was accomplished “effortlessly.” What was important was the goal and the act that accomplished it. Giving of self and benefiting others was considered an act of honor and self-respect. In short, individual aspirations were secondary to compliance with long-standing cultural values and prescriptions.
Thus, they had three stable population divisions: the young, the middle-aged, and the elderly. Each division clearly understood the role it must play in continuing its culture. (Anthropologist Ruth Benedict provides a detailed presentation of this cultural process in her book The Chrysanthemum and The Sword.)
In short, Who I am now was defined by your age group, not your belief in yourself and how to best proceed as a creative, self-defining individual.
The Danger Of Modern Labels
This is all good but won’t play out well in today’s culture. We have a different set of cultural values and few such culture-based prescriptions. Unfortunately, we, too, segment and predefine various groups. We have the terrible twos, difficult adolescents, immature adults, disabled Veterans, retarded children, learning impaired, and the elderly; all labels with preconceived expectations limiting our view of human possibilities. It’s how we tend to look at things. Pejorative mindsets, to be sure.
But labeling people with limiting expectations regarding their capabilities and subduing them to a paralysis in personal freedom regarding what THEY ARE AND MUST BE is unworkable in a democracy. We vigorously resist being labeled, being told who we are, what we can do and what we can be.
Moving Forward In The Life-changing Processes
To lift the burden of paralyzing mindsets from our shoulders, there is a way to move forward; this is how it could work.
Embracing The Present
This is who I am NOW affirms a sense of confidence that there is value in my current state, regardless of my age. Rarely do we acknowledge change has been happening along the way, from childhood to adolescence, adulthood to the elderly years. Change is ongoing, and there is no valid reason why one stage of development should prevail in value over another. At any time in our lives, we can view ourselves as useful, productive and valuable. It all depends on how we look at things.
The Value Of Every Stage Of Life
One can be a fully functioning person OR exhibit limited functioning at any age. There is no guarantee that a youthful disposition is of greater value than the wisdom, kindness, caring, selflessness, and charitability often associated with those we call grandmothers, grandfathers, elderly statesmen and the like. There are beautiful, productive people of all ages.
The Keys To Confidence And Self-Worth
When you declare, this is me. Now, you are saying yes, I do change, and I value myself for what I am NOW, not what I used to be or could have been. For this to occur, your positive attitude must be authentic, surfacing from within, knowing self-worth is aligned with positive self-definition despite the abundance of TV ads suggesting otherwise. Even the suggestion you might have forgotten to do something simple and ordinary, frequently mentioned in these ads, does not validate a diagnosis of one or another form of debilitation, requiring the use of yet another product promising relief. Even when our abilities decline, as frequently forewarned, this does not require we mindlessly accept the verdict.
We have value at all stages of our lives, and none of us are what we once were, and we might joyfully accept this possibility as something worthy of consideration. George Bernard Shaw said in his 90s, “I have never met a man of intelligence who would choose to live his life over again.” This does not lend strong support to those valuing youth over maturity. It acknowledges that life is challenging but does not suggest one stage is better.
When you look in the mirror, what you see derives from your point of view, from your attitude declaring you are okay, not so OK, not what you used to be, could be better or whatever. We can’t manufacture a positive attitude that is falsely based, making statements we don’t believe in. What is required for positive acceptance of self, at any age, is understanding that we all have abilities to be valued, many of which we exhibit later in life, not always in days before.
Finding Balance And Redefining Worth
All of the above is based on how we define our worth, despite commercial ventures relentlessly promoting how they can fix us when necessary. A wrinkle is not a death sentence. A problem with short-term memory could also result from passively watching TV month after month, lack of interest in ongoing events, being and feeling retired, lack of exercise, and isolation from others involved in creative activities. Much of this is reversible.
I recently spoke with an elderly man who joined a group of people of similar age, all studying and developing their ability to work creatively with wood, making furniture, and the like. These are not displaced adults engaged in child’s play. They design and create quality furniture you can’t buy, even in high-end stores.
Redefining Beauty Through Perspective
Of course, we change as we age, as we do at any age, so let’s not allow the self-promoting interests of the cosmetic industry and other such enterprises to dictate and limit our worth. To quote a hackneyed phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and it depends on how you define beauty.
Embracing Who We Are NOW
As we navigate the stages of life, let us embrace the beauty and worth found in every phase of our journey. By shifting our perspective and valuing the present moment, we can overcome the limiting labels society places upon us. Remember, it’s not about clinging to who we were or aspiring to an illusion of perfection, but about celebrating who we are NOW—unique, capable, and ever-evolving. The key lies within us: to define ourselves not by age, appearance, or societal expectations but by the richness of our experiences and the legacy of kindness and wisdom we leave behind.