There are those among us who command respect, are listened to, are highly valued and are self-assured. Neither loud nor seeking control over others, these same individuals are poised, self-confident, and exhibit a deep sense of security. They listen, are kind, and look at you squarely in the eye. They are respectful, tend to have a good sense of humor, are calm and are often eloquent.
What makes quiet confidence so attractive? Consider the alternatives.
How about those who are typically indecisive, self-doubting, shy, meek and self-distrusting, who are not looked to for advice, friendship or support and can be overbearing, pushy, self-absorbed and viewed as troublesome if not irrelevant?
Admired Performers, Leaders And Creators
Some inspiring examples of quiet confidence are found in admired performers, leaders and creators we have come to know so well. The smile of Joe Montana, on and off the field. Jazz musician Mr. Cool, Miles Davis. Easy-going comedian Bob Newhart. Comedian, Writer, Director, and playful Comic Tim Conway. The eloquent Dr. Martin Luther King. The effortless flow of Michael Jordan. Consummate performer Frank Sinatra, whose phrasing and unique vocalizations of love and romance, commanded the worldwide stage of popular music for over fifty years. Marlon Brando with his deep and powerful
expression of complex emotions. Visionary Steve Jobs. Marcel Marceau, the most famous mime in the “art of silence.” Jazz Legend David Baker, Music Teacher and Performer. The effortless brilliance of Oscar Peterson playing jazz piano. The courage and greatness of Muhammad Ali. Simone Biles is an incomparable artistic gymnast and Olympic Gold Medalist. The charm and charisma of 35th President, John F. Kennedy. Test Pilots and Astronauts.
Of course, there are so many others, each exhibiting their special something and indelibly distinguishing themselves through personal style and performance greatness.
One thing we know for certain is that their self-assurance did not derive from chance, imitation or pretension. You simply cannot fake quiet confidence. It is real and evolves, resulting from steadfast dedication to personal and performance excellence. Their admired calm composure is the result of acquired personal and performance skills, the reliable foundation for Internal Locus of Control.
Psychological Dynamics Of Quiet Confidence
To better understand the psychological dynamics of quiet confidence, we now draw upon Rotter’s Social Learning Theory (SLT) and his emphasis on the importance of Locus of Control (LOC) as a significant driver of success. Simply put, there are Internal and External versions of LOC. INTERNALS expect to achieve their aspirations through acquired performance skills. EXTERNALS expect rewards to come their way through good luck and the actions of powerful others.
Acknowledging the extensive research findings of a vast body of scientific studies over many years in many countries, it suffices to say that the Internals surface is the well-established winner. Internals achieve higher levels of academic accomplishment, are happier, wealthier, healthier, more productive and even exhibit less jail time, to list but a few of their superior achievements and more successful lives.
My exposure to Dr. Julian Rotter, SLT and LOC began when I entered the graduate training program in Clinical Psychology at The Ohio State University. Dr. Rotter was the program director and very much involved in his LOC research. I was fortunate to serve as his lead Research Associate and was fully involved in LOC research while also discovering how SLT offers significant promise as a science-based model for resolving human problems and concerns. Dr. Rotter was a valued mentor, and we maintained a rewarding personal and professional friendship lasting over 60 years until his passing at age 98. We published together and routinely discussed advancing SLT as an evidence-based psychological theory.
As time progressed, SLT extended its reach from Locus of Control to research on Interpersonal Trust, becoming a leading research effort across the United States and abroad. (In SLT, Interpersonal Trust is defined as “My expectancy you will do what you say you will do.”)
My current focus on In The Zone Skills Training features INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL as a significant driver of QUIET CONFIDENCE, integrating SLT with Polyvagal Theory.
SLT views human behavior as goal-directed, resulting from the interaction of the four fundamental SLT constructs. They are: a) the perceived value of rewards sought (REWARD VALUE); b) what we DO to achieve these goals (BEHAVIOR POTENTIAL); c) our anticipation that our goal-directed behaviors will be successful (EXPECTANCY) and d) the environments we engage in, conducive to goal achievements (PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATION). SLT focuses on learned behaviors relevant to the accomplishment of our self-defined goals. Again, Internal Locus of Control reflects the degree to which we believe skill-based behaviors drive performance success.
Polyvagal Theory is focused on the neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachments and communications with others. When understood and utilized within a comprehensive human development process, it can collectively lead to effective self-regulation.
In The Zone Skills Training is focused on learning fundamental peak performance skills referred to as Relaxed Moves, Power Moves, Elastic Moves and Focused Moves. It is a learning-through-doing process that complements SLT and Polyvagal theories and is directed toward mind/body integration with a full-body attitude.
Skillful Integration Leads To Quiet Confidence
QUIET CONFIDENCE AND INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL are not accidental outcomes. They result from skillfully integrating your cognitive, visceral and performance capabilities. Mind/Body Integration results from carefully prepared learning experiences guided by self-learners like you.
A distinguishing factor of our approach to positive human development is how and why we teach the way we do—those learning from our free content experience “quality” integration of the complex issues we address. Our persistent goal is to assist you toward Internal Locus of Control and those you serve by sharing your newly acquired, evidence-based psychological knowledge and Self-Learning expertise.
We emphasize LEARN TO TEACH—TEACH TO LEARN, knowing we continually improve our knowledge and teaching skills through the never-ending challenges we embrace working with others, individually and in online group meetings. We view Self-Learning as an ongoing learning experience.
Should the above be relevant to your goals, many more Blog posts explore how you can become a Self-Learner.