Is It Smart To Trust Others?

Key Takeaways

• Interpersonal trust is essential for healthy social relationships and supports effective collaboration and teamwork.
• Life experiences strongly influence whether we develop trust or distrust toward others.
• Julian Rotter’s Social Learning Theory (SLT) offers a framework for understanding trust as an expectation based on reliability and consistency.
• Trust develops over time through repeated, dependable actions and is guided by both expectancy (rational prediction) and neuroception (gut-level response).
• Aligning emotional responses with rational thought helps us make wiser, more self-directed decisions about whom to trust.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

The Importance Of Trust In Social Relationships

As social animals, we depend on one another to live and work effectively. Interpersonal trust is the belief that others will act with honesty, reliability, and goodwill. It shapes every relationship we form, from families to friendships to workplaces. Trusting or distrusting others influences how well we collaborate, and teamwork flourishes when trust is both present and justified.

Life Experiences That Influence Trust

So many have had life experiences leading to a valid distrust of others. Let’s review just a few:

• I experienced being female in a man’s world
• I experienced discrimination as a member of a minority group
• I experienced sexual discrimination and harassment
• I experienced the use or abuse of drugs and alcohol
• I served time in prison
• I experienced probation and being treated with suspicion
• I had emotionally unstable or alcoholic parents
• I experienced sexual abuse during childhood
• Others have viewed me as less than
• I was mistreated by people I trusted in the past
• I had an unfaithful partner
• I worked for supervisors more interested in themselves than the team
• I understand how power can corrupt those who have it

Distrust is the feeling that other people cannot be relied upon, while trust is the belief in the reliability, honesty, and positive intentions of others.

Julian Rotter’s Social Learning Theory (SLT)

Rotter’s SLT provides a science-based definition of trust. It is one of the first and most systematic theoretical descriptions of interpersonal trust. SLT defines trust as “an expectation held by an individual or a group that the word, promise, verbal, or written statement of another individual or group can be relied upon.”

How Trust Is Earned

Trust is earned or lost over time, such as within Mother/Child relationships. Ideally, the child expects the mother’s breast, smile, comfort and security. Trust is earned when parents provide consistency in their love and affection, especially during times of trial. Trust is earned when friends support friends in times of need. We rely on one another. In so doing, we develop an understanding of trust and how it does have a legitimate and valuable place in our daily lives. Without this, a skeptical, self-protective attitude can quickly develop.

The Risk Of Trust And Distrust

Trust is based on experience, as we experience reliability and commitment in our relationships with others. Gradually, a measure of truth surfaces when conditions are right, and distrust might also surface depending on contrary experiences.

Researchers across the nation are now studying trust and its variations. Once again, Social Learning Theory leads the pack with helpful theory and assessment technologies. Since there is no perfect way of knowing who to trust, we are best equipped by our ability to make our own careful observations of others’ behaviors, investing our time, money and love mostly with those with a respectable track record.

So, when someone says, “Just trust me,” know that this involves a risky commitment. When someone says, “Don’t trust anyone,” this, too, is questionable.

There are more scams today than at any other time in recorded history. Trusting is truly a risky business. Being mistrusting is disheartening because most of us would like to believe there are reliable, truthful people out there. Being too trusting can lead to broken hearts and empty bank accounts. Being too distrustful can lead to isolation and emotional emptiness.

As mentioned earlier, trust is earned, so we must observe and search for the truth. In the meantime, we can use carefully prepared passwords, never surrender private information to demanding callers, be skeptical of deals too good to be true, and know handshakes no longer automatically cement solid business relationships. Get more intelligent each day, knowing not everyone is seeking your money and the easy way out. Most importantly, learn more about your inner mind/body influences and how they can guide you toward well-examined decisions to trust.

Summary Of Rotter’s Research On Trust

This is a problematic question worthy of research. The following is a summary of some of Dr. Rotter’s research on interpersonal trust:

• People who trust are less likely to lie and are less likely to cheat or steal
• Trusting people are more likely to give others a second chance
• Those who trust tend to respect the rights of others
• The person inclined to be trusting is less likely to be unhappy, conflicted or maladjusted
• The person who is trusting is liked more and sought out more often as a friend
• High-trusting people are not more susceptible to deception or manipulation than low-trusting people

The Role Of Fear In Trust

Because interpersonal trust is so important to loving, caring, forward-moving relationships, we benefit from utilizing our inner guidance system regarding another’s trustworthiness. Fear is a very influential human emotion and tends to drive our behaviors more than we know. Fear is a self-protective, emotional response that often dominates how we interact. If, for example, you have no reason to distrust your mate but are frequently questioning their motivations, this introduces a disturbing, unsettling influence. This can be more about you than the motivations of your mate. It is helpful to recognize this in yourself, talk about your fears with your mate and work toward trust, so both of you can be at ease, loving and caring.

Expectancy And Neuroception: Guiding Trust

In Social Learning Theory, EXPECTANCY for success or failure is a driving force underlying whether we proceed toward success or away from failure.

In Polyvagal Theory, NEUROCEPTION, that gut level, physical response, is also trying to tell us something.

Expectancy and Neuroception may be considered ANTICIPATORY – each generates a response toward or away from the presenting situation.

Expectancy is primarily a rational inner force built upon previous experiences. It is like an inner probability device guiding us to do or not do something.

Neuroception is more visceral and physical, shaped by past experiences and centuries of evolutionary development. Gut-level responses are very important but not necessarily the better of the two.

Both Expectancy and Neuroception can guide you toward a more valid and valuable way of behaving. Still, only if you recognize them are indeed there, but they are not necessarily absolute and perfect measures of reality. They are best guesses, and we benefit from examining what they tell us. Consider both and allow your responses to emerge accordingly.

Aligning Mind And Body

Trust is our inner gyroscope telling us course corrections might be valuable, allowing for increases or decreases in approach and avoidant behaviors.

Is it wise to trust others? Listen to your inner sources because they are talking to you. They may be conflicting or mutually supportive. When your expectations are high for success in a relationship, consider this one measure of confidence. If, at this same time, your neuroception says, be careful, give yourself time to study the process so expectancy and neuroception can be comfortably aligned.

Expectancy and Neuroception are not perfect barometers of what is forthcoming. They are sources of information about reality, sometimes accurate, sometimes misguided. Example: If my expectancy regarding you and the validity of your statements indicates high approval and my perception is that of “watch out,” I best know the difference – and learn why. My perception may be the result of a profound emotional violation by someone else, such as early childhood sexual abuse, which can easily overcome rational expectancies and are more likely based on experiences of today versus twenty years ago.

We are complex animals with highly advanced inner guidance systems. Consider both; study what they tell you and where they might be coming from. Knowing your emotions can easily conflict with your rational side, sometimes for the better, sometimes not so. If unsure, give yourself some time to work it through. Resolving the conflict between expectancy and neuroception is the best form of Self-Learning you can engage in. We experience mind/body integration with a full-body attitude when properly aligned.

Final Thoughts: Is It Wise to Trust Others?

That’s hard to say. Humans possess highly sensitive sensory and processing systems. Understanding these systems can enhance our lives and promote Self-Learning with others. Ultimately, everyone seeks an Internal Locus of Control.

FAQ

Related Content

• Julian Rotter’s Social Learning Theory
• How To Be Yourself: Don’t Try To Be Anyone Else
• 37. Polyvagal Theory 4 – Expectancy and Neuroception
• How To Manage Fear And Turn Stress Into Strength
• Social Learning and Polyvagal Theory: How They Work Together