The Pursuit Of Happiness
Being happy regularly may be the most cherished goal of all. As a Clinical Psychologist, I often hear patients say, “I just want to be happy.” It’s a worthy goal, no doubt. But how do we achieve it? This article addresses this question from the perspective of Social Learning Theory (SLT) and its subconstruct, Internal Locus of Control. Let’s see how this works.
Defining The Problem: A Clear Path To The Solution
The solution becomes readily available if you can clearly verbalize the problem. Let’s learn how to do this from an SLT perspective. SLT is a science-based theory with clearly defined theoretical constructs, and we want to learn how to use them in our everyday lives. If the goal is to be happy, we certainly want a clear view of happiness and how to achieve it. Since what might make me happy can easily differ from what makes you happy, we want an approach to problem-solving that is flexible and unique in its application, so we are speaking in specific terms, not generalities. Happy is a very general term, so we want to define the term clearly, and this leads to Focused Action. Here we go!
Understanding Social Learning Theory (SLT)
SLT starts with the basic assumption you are goal-directed. You may not have a clear view of that goal, but we can quickly clarify the same in just a few problem-solving steps. First, we want to know what a goal is. In SLT, a goal is defined as Reward Value (RV), which is your preference for one reward over another, or a cluster of interrelated goals we will call Need Value (NV). In the latter case, we can think of NV as presented in the following 6 Need Values:
Six Key Need Values (NVs)
- Recognition Status – The need to feel competent, valued, and acknowledged in professional, social, occupational, or recreational activities. This includes achieving a position or level of skill that distinguishes you as capable or accomplished compared to others.
- Protection-Dependency – The need for support, reassurance, and security from others to avoid frustration or punishment and to meet other needs. This includes relying on people or groups to provide safety and alleviate challenges.
- Dominance – The need to direct or control other people’s actions, including members of family and friends. Have any actions been taken to follow your suggestion?
- Independency – The need to make your own decisions and rely on yourself, along with developing the skills necessary to achieve personal satisfaction without depending on others for mediation or support.
- Love and Affection – The need to feel accepted and valued by others on a personal level. Unlike Recognition Status, this value is not tied to social or professional standing but instead focuses on receiving warmth, care, and emotional connection from others.
- Physical Comfort – The need for physical and emotional satisfaction that provides a sense of safety and security. This value is often tied to creating environments or routines that promote well-being and protection from discomfort or harm.
Identifying Your Need Values
Which of the six Need Values resonates most with you? Take a moment to rank them from highest to lowest by assigning a number from 1-10, with 10 being the highest priority. This exercise helps clarify what you value most and how important it is for you to feel fulfilled. Identifying your top priorities is the first step toward understanding what truly drives you and determining the rewards that matter most in your life.
For example, if Independence is your highest Need Value, it suggests that an Internal Locus of Control plays a significant role in your behaviors and decisions. Recognizing this can give you insight into your motivations and help you better align your daily actions with what brings you joy and satisfaction. To be centered and happy, it’s essential to understand why certain activities feel rewarding while others do not. Ultimately, Goal Direction is about uncovering what motivates you and finding ways to engage in activities that align with your values.
Self-Learner And The Six Need Values
Self-Learner And Independence
Being your own mentor—and perhaps a mentor for others—requires a clear understanding of what you want from life and how to achieve it. If you have a high need for Independence but find yourself in an environment that is overly controlling and limits your decision-making, frustration is inevitable. In such situations, you may feel compelled to seek opportunities that align with your desire for autonomy. As a Self-Learner, recognizing this need can help you focus on building skills and pursuing paths that empower you to make independent choices and achieve personal satisfaction.
Self-Learner And Recognition-Status
Imagine working in a job where you receive no solid feedback, no recognition for your efforts, and no acknowledgment of how well you compete with others. It’s as if nobody cares about your performance. How would that make you feel? For someone with a high need for Recognition-Status, this situation could lead to frustration, disengagement, or even a strong desire to leave. On the other hand, if Recognition-Status is not a significant motivator for you, such concerns may hold little relevance. As a Self-Learner, understanding how this need influences your work and relationships is key to addressing any gaps in fulfillment and ensuring your goals align with your core values.
Self-Learner And Dominance
If you have a high need value for Dominance, you may feel a strong drive to control the actions and decisions of others. This need for control can sometimes lead to challenges, such as marital conflict, workplace disagreements, or struggles with friends who also have leadership tendencies. You might find it difficult to collaborate on a team unless you are in a leading role, like being the captain. Recognizing this tendency is an important first step. As a Self-Learner, exploring the underlying motivations for this need and how it impacts your relationships can open the door to meaningful growth and better balance in your interactions with others.
Self-Learner And Protection-Dependency
If a Self-Learner is motivated by Protection-Dependency, they may rely heavily on others for guidance and support, often adapting to others’ views and values rather than forming their own. While seeking guidance is natural, this reliance can become a slippery slope, leading to a lack of independence. The key for the Self-Learner is to cultivate an internal locus of control—taking responsibility for their happiness by making their own decisions and building the skills needed to navigate life with confidence and self-reliance.
Self-Learner And Personal Comfort
Suppose a Learner has a high Need Value for feeling secure and safe physically and emotionally. In that case, happiness derives from overcoming this motivation, replacing it, once again, with an Internal Locus of Control. Any genuine feeling of security comes from skills you have acquired and things you do to achieve inner calm. Those with high NV for Personal Comfort often keep doors locked, stay at home as much as possible, live near relatives, have an abundance of guns and ammo, and always know who to call when the going gets tough.
Self-Learner And Love And Affection
If you are highly motivated by the need for Love and Affection, you may find yourself seeking approval and validation from others to define your sense of self-worth. This constant reaching out for acceptance can lead to frustration and emotional pain, as it places your feelings of lovability in the hands of others. Understanding this dynamic is essential for a Self-Learner. Shifting the focus from external validation to internal self-acceptance can help you develop a stronger, more fulfilling sense of self. This Need Value stands in contrast to Independence and is also quite the opposite of Dominance, highlighting the variety of motivations that shape our behaviors and relationships.
The Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI): A Tool For Self-Assessment
The PCI provides an in-depth way to assess your Need Values. While the six Need Values offer a general framework, the PCI allows for a more personalized psychological self-assessment. In about 20 minutes, it evaluates over 1,000 personal concerns and organizes them into three categories: Primary, Secondary, and Highly Focused Concerns.
Your personalized “This is Me” report offers precise, self-reflective insights into what may be going wrong in your life and helps you identify areas for growth and improvement. By highlighting specific concerns, the PCI gives you a clearer sense of direction and empowers you to take meaningful action.
Example: Connecting PCI Results To Need Values
Your PCI results can also reveal how your personal concerns align with the six Need Values. For instance:
If your report highlights problems in your marriage, at work, or with friends and children, and you discover you have a high Need Value for Dominance, this could point to a deeper connection. Can you see how a strong desire to control others may contribute to resistance or conflict in your relationships? Recognizing this pattern is a critical step in Self-Learning.
This process allows you to verbalize the problem clearly and identify practical solutions. Self-Learning is about transforming insight into action, enabling you to address these challenges and move toward better outcomes.
Strategy For Focused Action
Self-Learning is, at its core, a process of Psychoeducation—learning about yourself to develop a stronger Internal Locus of Control. This process works best when you, as the Learner, take the time to understand how your basic needs and values may conflict with your goals.
Achieving a sense of balance and happiness in your daily life begins with meeting your unique needs. This is not something others can do for you—it’s an outcome only you can create. By taking responsibility for your choices and actions, you empower yourself to become the driver of your happiness and fulfillment.
Moving Forward With Self-Learning
Happiness and balance stem from understanding yourself—your needs, values, and motivations—and taking purposeful steps toward self-improvement. By identifying and addressing the gaps between your goals and your actions, you empower yourself to make meaningful changes. Remember, the path to happiness isn’t about quick fixes or external validation but about embracing your unique journey with curiosity and commitment. Start today by exploring the tools available to you, like the Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI), and take the first steps toward a centered and fulfilling life.