Verbalizing Personal Concerns Clearly

The Problem With Vague Questions

One of the gravest problems in mental health is how we ask questions. When vague or imprecise, questions often lead to confusion rather than clarity. This lack of specificity makes it difficult to generate meaningful answers, hindering progress in therapy and personal development. Individuals may struggle to articulate their concerns without clear questions, preventing effective communication and problem-solving.

Am I happy? Can I be happy? Is happiness achievable given my circumstances? What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep torturing myself? Why am I such a failure? Can I ever be as good as you? Do you like me? Do you love me? Do I love you? Am I lovable? The list goes on.

The Impact Of Poorly Framed Questions

Humans are masters at asking vague, unanswerable questions, and this habit lies at the heart of ineffective therapy and counseling. If we were to change one thing to improve psychology, psychiatry, social work, counseling, and caregiving, it would be to frame our interactions with clearly stated questions that lead to clearly stated answers.

The Power Of Measurable Questions

For example, a straightforward question with a clear, measurable answer would be: Can you count to 10? Can you define “emotion” so we can understand precisely what you mean when you say, “I feel too emotional”? Can you explain what “feel” means when you say, “I feel angry, sad, happy, overwhelmed, or excited”?


Nothing is more fruitless and energy-consuming than answering vague and fundamentally meaningless questions. We need questions that are stated clearly.

Using The Right Questioning Approach

The “what,” “where,” “why,” and “when” questions should be clearly understood. For instance, when you feel muscle tension, where do you experience tightness in your body? Compare this to a vague question like “Why do I always feel bad?” The latter is unproductive because it lacks specificity, whereas targeted questions help identify concrete concerns. When does this happen? Is this what you mean when you say you are in “pain”?

We should ask questions that lead to useful information rather than vague philosophical musings like, “What is the purpose of life?” Such questions require definition. The word “purpose” is meaningless without context beyond suggesting a general search for meaning or direction.

Why Measurable Goals Matter

Measurable goals are essential for tracking progress and ensuring meaningful outcomes. Without clear metrics, efforts can become aimless, making it difficult to determine success or areas for improvement. In business, profit margins often define success for a specific product or marketing effort, reinforcing that “What gets measured is what gets done.” The same principle applies to personal growth and mental health—we gain insight into patterns and progress when we measure our concerns, emotions, and behaviors. Setting measurable goals enables focused action, accountability, and continuous improvement, leading to real, lasting change.

Applying Scientific Thinking To Everyday Life

The Scientific Approach To Questions

Thinking and acting like scientists means embracing curiosity, objectivity, and structured inquiry. Instead of making assumptions or relying on vague ideas, we should use evidence-based reasoning to frame our questions and seek actionable answers. Scientific thinking involves forming hypotheses, testing assumptions, and refining our understanding based on results. We can identify patterns, assess progress, and adapt to new information by applying these principles to personal concerns. This method enhances problem-solving and encourages a mindset of continuous learning and growth.

Recognizing That Change Is Constant

Everything that exists is changing; nothing remains the same. Therefore, valuable questions should focus on change rather than stability. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “One cannot step in the same river twice.” The best questions focus on understanding change rather than preserving the status quo. Resistance to change is common, as many prefer to hold on to familiar beliefs rather than explore new possibilities.

Measuring Change Over Time

Change is a constant part of life, yet many struggle to recognize and track it effectively. Measuring change over time allows us to see patterns, assess progress, and make informed decisions about the future. This is why the Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) is designed to capture shifts in personal concerns, helping individuals identify trends in their emotions, behaviors, and priorities. By consistently tracking these changes, we can better understand what influences our well-being and take actionable steps toward meaningful growth. The ability to measure change provides clarity, fosters self-awareness, and supports adaptive decision-making in both personal and professional contexts. We are constantly evolving, whether we recognize it or not.

A personal concern can be measured with a simple, direct question that elicits a clear response. For example: How concerned am I about my financial situation? This question invites a response on a scale from one to ten, providing a quantifiable measure of concern. (For context, Personal Concerns are defined using the theoretical constructs of Rotter’s Social Learning Theory, though a deeper discussion of this framework is beyond the scope of this article.)

The Role Of Adaptability In Change

Adaptability is a key factor in successfully navigating change. Instead of simply diagnosing conditions with rigid labels, we should focus on how individuals can adjust and grow in response to shifting circumstances. Are we asking questions about readiness for change? Are we curious about adaptability in response to shifting circumstances? If we focus on “finding the right label,” we risk diagnostic paralysis. Statements such as “The patient is bipolar, schizophrenic, depressed, obsessive-compulsive” categorize conditions but do not address adaptability or actionable change. These rigid labels slow progress, reinforcing an Aristotelian tendency to classify and stabilize experience rather than embracing the reality of constant change, as first noted by Galileo in the 16th century.

By shifting our focus toward adaptability, we encourage resilience and problem-solving. Instead of asking limiting questions based on fixed labels, we should prioritize questions that explore how individuals can respond, learn, and thrive in the face of new challenges.

The Importance Of Clear Communication

The Foundation Of Effective Communication

Clear, precise language is the cornerstone of effective communication. Once we ask answerable questions, the next step is to articulate responses in a way that ensures mutual understanding. When structured and intentional, communication leads to meaningful actions and productive interactions. Even the best questions can lead to misunderstandings or ineffective outcomes without clarity. By focusing on precision and thoughtfulness in our responses, we create an environment where ideas, concerns, and solutions can be shared with confidence and impact. Effective communication relies on using precise language that leads to meaningful actions.

Avoiding Miscommunication And Vagueness

Effective communication requires clarity, precision, and mutual understanding. When both parties fully grasp what is being discussed, meaningful dialogue can occur. In contrast, vague or circular conversations—often present in ineffective therapy—lead to confusion and frustration. Ambiguous questions about emotions, aspirations, success, and happiness lack direction and fail to yield actionable insights. Without specificity, these questions often create uncertainty rather than clarity. Instead, well-structured questions should guide the conversation toward useful and measurable responses, ensuring the speaker and listener can engage in a productive exchange of ideas.

By emphasizing specificity and intention, we enable Focused Action, a core principle in Positive Performance Psychology. This approach fosters problem-solving and progress by directing attention to tangible solutions. For example, rather than asking, Why am I so stressed?, a more effective question would be, Can you describe the physical sensations you experience when you feel stressed about financial concerns? This question encourages concrete responses and actionable insights, facilitating more profound understanding and resolution.

Observing And Verbalizing Experience Clearly

Effective communication begins with keen observation and the ability to articulate experiences clearly. The more accurately we describe what we perceive, the better we can convey our thoughts and emotions to others. Communication is not just about speaking; it is an interactive process between the observer and the observed, where perception plays a crucial role in shaping understanding. Perception is inherently subjective—what one person sees or experiences may differ significantly from another’s viewpoint. Recognizing this subjectivity is essential for meaningful dialogue.

To foster effective communication, it is helpful to frame statements with qualifiers such as “To me, it seems…” or “As I see it…” This practice acknowledges perceptual differences, reducing misunderstandings and encouraging open discussions. Embracing different perspectives enhances mutual understanding and creates opportunities for richer, more insightful conversations that lead to meaningful connections and solutions..

The Power Of Perspective In Communication

Max Planck, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, once said, “When you change how you look at things, the things you look at change.” This highlights the transformative power of perspective—our understanding of reality is shaped by how we see it. We unlock new possibilities, deepen our understanding, and improve communication by shifting our viewpoints. This reinforces the importance of adaptability in scientific thinking and mental health—our perspectives shape our reality, and being open to change allows for greater understanding and progress. Broadening our perspectives by considering different viewpoints fosters empathy, enhances communication, and strengthens relationships. When we acknowledge diverse perspectives, we create space for more meaningful dialogue and problem-solving.

For example, one person may perceive a child’s learning challenges as a permanent limitation, while another may see them as an opportunity for growth through specialized education and support. By reframing our perspectives, we cultivate adaptability and unlock more effective solutions, allowing us to approach challenges with greater insight and flexibility.

People In Quandaries

In People In Quandaries (1946), Wendell Johnson quotes psychiatrist Dr. Coyne Campbell, who stated in a 1941 speech:

Patients who were brought to me because they had been judged to be seriously maladjusted or “insane” showed one chief symptom: They were unable to tell me clearly what was the matter. They simply could not describe the difficulties with which they were beset.

This insight underscores the importance of clear communication in mental health. When individuals cannot articulate their concerns, progress is hindered.

Summary Of Key Takeaways

  • Vague questions hinder progress; specific, measurable questions lead to clearer understanding and action.
  • Thinking scientifically helps frame questions in ways that promote problem-solving and adaptability.
  • Communication improves when both parties ensure clarity and understanding.
  • The Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) helps individuals clearly verbalize and track concerns over time.

Cognitive Behavioral Psychology And Social Learning Theory

Cognitive Behavioral Psychology recognizes this dilemma and offers therapeutic techniques to help individuals identify and clarify their concerns from an improved cognitive perspective.

Rotter’s Social Learning Theory was the first Cognitive Behavioral Psychology theory and remains one of the most scientific in its structure. It has generated extensive research and is widely recognized for its Internal Locus of Control (LOC) concept. Internal LOC is defined as the expectation that rewards result from personal skills and efforts, as opposed to External LOC, which attributes outcomes to luck or powerful others.

Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI)

The Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) is a unique psychological self-assessment tool designed to help individuals and those they serve clearly verbalize personal concerns.

Your “This is Me!” report compiles all your verbalized personal concerns, guiding rapid personal change. These insights may emerge through self-reflection or in collaboration with a skilled therapist.

By learning to ask clear, answerable questions and improving our ability to articulate personal concerns, we empower ourselves and others to navigate change more effectively, leading to greater personal growth and well-being.

Final Thoughts On Clear Communication

Clear communication begins with asking the right questions—ones that are specific, measurable, and actionable. Vague questions lead to confusion, while well-structured ones promote clarity, problem-solving, and adaptability. Applying scientific thinking helps us frame concerns effectively, focusing on measurable change rather than rigid labels. Strong communication also requires understanding different perspectives, using precise language, and fostering mutual comprehension. The Personal Concerns Inventory (PCI) is a powerful tool for tracking concerns over time, supporting personal growth and meaningful change. Refining our ability to articulate personal concerns creates opportunities for greater self-awareness, progress, and improved well-being.